This is an important and well done read. I wish it to circulate widely so straights will read it . However, for me (maybe because I am 71 and grew up in the 50s and 60s) being gay most often does seem to me to be my defining characteristic. There is certainly more to me than my sexual orientation, but my queerness absolutely defined my life and still does. It seems to me it is the very essence of who I am.