I am not trans gender and cannot imagine your struggle. It does seem to me however, that I see more and more about trans folk deciding to just be themselves and take only those transitioning steps they are certain about.

Maybe there is life in the middle; sort of like the bearded gay guy who wears a dress when he is in the mood.

In other words, maybe there are more than two options. Then you get to be you and to hell with what others think. Those who loved you before will always love you, even it it takes time and adjustment. That is their problem, not yours.

Good luck on your journey.